


Just So Strange

by WhiteMarsh



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8334430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteMarsh/pseuds/WhiteMarsh
Summary: After the Onsen On Ice event, Yuuri has trouble sleeping with so much on his mind.





	

_It’s so strange._

On the night following the Onsen On Ice event, Yuuri was exhausted, yet sleep seemed to elude him. Tiny spasms tensed his muscles, fingers twitching as he stared at the ceiling with glossy eyes and racing heart. He had felt something like this before, when Victor first showed up at Yuutopia, but this was still somehow different. Back then he had been starstruck, hardly believing that this was happening to him. The reigning champion offering to be his coach, it had seemed too good to be true, and in a way it was.

Victor, as it turned out, was far from the perfect gentleman that Yuuri had privately envisioned. Dishing out brutal criticism with an unfaltering smile, Victor was rather rude, self-centered and had absolutely no concept of personal space. He made Yuuri uncomfortable, ruthlessly pointing out his flaws, of which Yuuri admittedly had many, but hearing it from the mouth of someone he admired, had adored for years, struck a particular nerve. Yuuri had been angry, ashamed, flustered and so many more things.

To say the least, the past couple of weeks had been intense. It would have been easy to pin the blame on Plisetsky’s unexpected appearance, but Yuuri knew better than that. Sure, Yurio had crossed a line or two, practically assaulting him (again), barging into his home and demanding to live there because that would be _fair_ , but surely he was no worse than _Victor_.

Quietly, Yuuri got out of bed and, careful not to wake anyone, snuck his way through the quiet house, to the front door. Outside, he sat down on the front step. The air was chilly, it was still early spring after all, but it felt nice against his overheated skin. He probably looked strange, sitting there in nothing but a tank top and sweatpants, in the middle on the night, but he didn’t really care. No one was around to see him, anyways.

He thought back to that one time as a boy, sitting on this very step, next to his sister and one of her friends during a meteor shower. They had been making wishes, the two teenage girls giggling, hushed voices between them, while twelve-year-old Yuuri sat silently gazing at the sky, wishing as hard as he could.

_I want to be like him._

Present-day Yuuri smiled. He would never be like Victor. No amount of rocks burning in the atmosphere could change that fact. But after today… He thought that maybe he could be something else. Something different, but just as grand.

_It’s so strange._

Victor was wonderful and terrible, alternating between the two at a rapid pace. Terrible Victor, who pitted him and Yurio against each other in a duel to win his favor. Wonderful Victor, who loved katsudon and slept with such an unguarded expression. Terrible Victor, who called him piglet and said he could not get in the ice before losing weight. Wonderful Victor, who had not taken his eyes off Yuuri during his _Eros_ performance.

Even thinking about it now sent shivers through Yuuri, shivers he couldn’t blame on the cold. That cool, blue gaze, fixed squarely on him for so long, he hadn’t needed his glasses to know it was there, he could feel it.

_I’m dancing for you._

It should be embarrassing to think about, but Yuuri felt no shame. He has stepped outside his comfort zone, peeled away the first layer, one step closer to finding what was underneath, like a snake shedding it’s old skin, revealing smooth, supple scales. It was refreshing.

It was also terrifying. Yuuri had never really thought of himself as a very sexual being. Revealing that side of himself, on front of a huge audience, no less, had been stepping over so many boundaries. Yet, it felt good. Like telling a well-kept secret to a trusted friend. While there might have been tons of people watching, in the end, it had all been about him and Victor. It had settled something between them, something had clicked. He was not sure if it happened during the program itself or when Victor ever-so-subtly put his arm around him during the interview, but at some point it all snapped into place ever so neatly.

Yuuri knew he was what many would consider naïve, inexperienced, but he wasn’t dense and certainly not stupid. It was not an unfamiliar feeling, though the intensity was new.

Yuuri shivered even more, and this time it really was the cold. Retreating inside, he hugged himself, rubbing his shoulders and breathing on his fingers to get the life back into them. He startled slightly when a shadow appeared further down the hallway, but he quickly realized it was just Makkachin padding towards him. She leaned affectionately against his leg and snuck her head under his hand, demanding attention.

“Can’t sleep either?” He said quietly. There was no question that the brown poodle adored her master but lately she had taken to shadowing Yuuri wherever he went, stopping just short of sleeping in his room, she still preferred Victor.

Yuuri looked down the hallway, finding Victor’s door slightly open. Probably Makkachin’s doing.

“I hope you didn’t wake him,” he scolded gently, running his still cold fingers through the curls on her neck.

Together, they went to the living room and Yuuri sat down on one of the pillows, leaning his elbow on the low table. Makkachin came to lie next to him, head on his thigh, and seemed to promptly fall asleep with a deep sigh.

Yuuri stared into the darkness, the television a big, black expanse that took up most of the far wall.

_It’s so strange._

He had known from the start that this would happen, it had seemed inevitable. At the time it had scared him, but now he felt oddly at peace with it.

Victor had seemed like the sea, vast and beautiful, yet to terrifyingly deep, strong currents just under the surface, ready to drag you under at any moment. In a way, he was still all those things, but something was different now. He was no longer some unknowable entity, a far away icon for Yuuri to put on a pedestal and worship, but a human being, the man Victor that Yuuri was slowly beginning to see as if for the first time. He knew he would never put the posters up again, even if Victor one day left.

Something had changed inside Yuuri and it wasn’t just this new _feeling_. He had gained a new sense of purpose, of self-worth, an excitement for what the future might bring. He had made it as far as he had, all the way to the Grand Prix Finals, by doing what was expected of him. Now, it seemed, it was time to do the opposite. Yuuri genuinely had no idea what tomorrow would bring and for once that excited him.

Soft footfalls broke Yuuri away from his thoughts and he looked over his shoulder to find a disheveled Victor standing in the doorway.

“Sorry, I don’t think I closed the door properly. Did she wake you?” Victor asked, voice rough from sleep.

Two weeks ago this situation probably would have left Yuuri a stuttering mess, but not now.

“I think it was the other way around, I got up because I couldn’t sleep.”

“I see,” Victor said as he sat down cross legged on a pillow opposite Yuuri, resting his chin on his hand. They sat for a while like that in what seemed like companionable silence, both their gazes drawn to the peacefully sleeping Makkachin, but at some point, as if on cue, their eyes met. Yuuri didn’t look away.

_It’s so strange._

Victor smiled, tired, slightly lopsided. “What’s on your mind?” He asked, and Yuuri felt compelled, nay, brave enough, to answer honestly.

“You,” he said simply, it wasn’t even difficult.

Victor laughed softly. “That’s a very heavy subject for this hour, don’t you think? Do let me know if you figure something out.”

Yuuri wasn’t buying into his nonchalance, not having missed the way Victor’s eyes had widened ever so slightly at his truthful admission.

“I did realize something today,” Yuuri said before wetting his lips, thinking about how to put it. “I don’t really care why you came here in the first place, if it was because you were bored or if you really saw something in me, I don’t know.” He paused, meeting Victor’s gaze head on. “But I absolutely will prove to you that it was worth it, that I deserve you as my coach.”

Quietly, Victor shuffled forward, hand coming up to hold Yuuri’s chin, mirroring their interaction on the very first day, only this time, Yuuri didn’t flinch. Victor tilted his head slightly and Yuuri could feel his breath ghosting over his lips.

_It’s so strange._

“I shall look forward to that,” Victor whispered and Yuuri felt like he was on the podium again. “I will then promise to take you farther than you ever imagined.” There was an almost mad glint in Victor’s eyes. “Together, Yuuri, we will conquer. But first…” He brought his hand up to brush away Yuuri’s bangs in a gesture that felt more intimate than it probably was. “...Get some sleep. I need you refreshed for my genius plans for world domination.”

Yuuri remained where he was as Victor fluidly retreated, getting up and calling the now awake Makkachin to him.

“I’m serious, get some rest. Tomorrow we start for real, so you better be ready,” Victor threatened as he left the room.

Yuuri sat there for just a while longer, waiting for the small sounds of Victor going back to his room to disappear. Finally getting up, he went to his room, collapsing on his bed before rolling over on his back, staring at the ceiling, just as he had earlier.

_It’s so strange._

Closing his eyes, he fell asleep almost immediately, one final thought drifting through his mind.

_It's so strange, being in love._


End file.
